In about 36 hours or so I'll be taking my black belt test. I'm not nervous but there's still time. I'm a little excited but mainly confident. Success or failure can be put down to training, and practice has been going well. I know enough to pass, although there are one or two things that I am not happy with and ideally I'd like more time to improve. I don't just want a pass though, I'd like it to look like I know what I'm doing. Overall I'm ready to go.
It's all a little surreal, being in this situation. I never planned to take up Hapkido and my motivation really hasn't been to go through the belts, just to improve. Am I really up to the black belt standard? Well as discussed before, the ranking (1st Dan) doesn't really mean too much out here as so many people have them in their own disciplines. I have to say that as I do go through the belts there is a sense of achievement and it does feel good when your training goes well in the tests. I'll be proud to pick up my black belt when I do. I will pass! I must pass!
But what happens after this weekend? Well, going to Hapkido does require a commitment. I go after work and don't get home till after midnight so doing things later on is almost always off the agenda. My body sometimes takes a battering but I think I could cope with continuing for a little longer. However I have doubts as to whether or not I am flexible or agile enough to 'go much further' technique-wise. I have a big decision to make, but that's not for now and I must remain focused on Saturdays test...
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